A year of laughter.
Lifestyle. I’ve been a gas card carrying member of Exxon/Mobil since 1986. For most of those years I knew that this huge corporation was creating environmental havoc around our world. But changing to another dealer meant going the extra mile, literally, and paying with cash, which I was sometimes short of. Now days, stopping for gas on my way to my daughter’s various doctors’ appointments is the easiest, quickest way to fill up. But I feel so irresponsible, so bad that my dollars are supporting an organization whose many practices I despise. The result? I get sick to my stomach and stressed out stopping, and sick to my stomach and stressed out not stopping, because a different choice means more time being nauseous in the car for my daughter. So here it is, my official apology to the world for all the bad choices I’m making today that will adversely affect my grandchildren in the future. I’m sorry.
It’s all too much for me. My level of information regarding climate change, global warming, GMOs, extinction, and damage to our earth is way more than my capacity to affect change. I’m so sensitive that I drive myself crazy over plastic bags and the best way to compost avocado nuts. I’m not supposed to feel this tired, am I? I have a 14 year-old, for heaven’s sake. Where’s my zip? But this world of ours, and all its problems, it has aged me way beyond my 53 years.
Perhaps it’s time to stop reading or watching everything except comedies. Perhaps I should spend the next year focusing on laughter, and hand over my keen but powerless sense of responsibility to the millions of tireless advocates who are actually getting things done. Would it be so bad to stop caring so much? It that were possible, I mean.
People do many things for a year. They bike across the country, they give up sugar, they build their own house. Why can’t I choose laughter? So that every time I start feeling overwhelmed and tortured with what’s right and good and all the choices there are to support justice, instead I back away and laugh. For a year. Why not?
My birthday is this month. It’s seems as good a day as any to start laughing. Will you please send me the titles of your favorite books and movies that end well, leave you feeling warm-hearted, and make you laugh? But that don’t have violence or anything sad about babies? Remember, I need a year’s worth…
Check back next week for another segment of Finding Home..