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If she only knew.

So there are two of them. And the one upstairs is struggling because the newest sense that’s been stripped away from her is taste, and as you hold her, assuring her yes yes! everything will return, you hear the one downstairs getting restless on the sofa, because you were interrupted playing the Harry Potter game and promised you’d be back in a minute. But it’s been ten minutes later and you have to make it back to your wand because if you don’t you’ll lose your credibility and once more prove that you never leave any time for her. And you think you’re going mad as you take the steps two at a time, trying to balance the smart, sassy girl who’s ill with the smart, sassy girl who’s healthy, all the while figuring out how in the world you’ll make your book deadline this time. And at night, when everyone else is sleeping, you wish that you were in the porch at Peace Cottage listening to birdsong, or eating in the dining room at Vinehart Farm in sweet, complete silence. But you can’t. That’s not even close to your life. So you think up other escapes of the mind, new story strands, sequels upon sequels, always places to slip away to where no one needs you and you are never never split in two. And when a stranger tells you she likes your books because she can escape in them, you think, if she only knew…6-29-13 141

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2 thoughts on “If she only knew.

  1. Maggie on said:

    She knows! She is no doubt frustrated, but she knows how much she is loved and she lives each day knowing how hard her family tries to keep life balanced, to give and to demonstrate care. She’s a bright, caring woman who knows the pull of responsibilities and how delicately balanced the tipping point of giving is. She knows! Please take time for yourself. Do YOU know how dearly YOU are loved?

  2. Lisa on said:

    I do, Maggie, I do! And you as well!

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